Cowboy George and the Dragon
The other morning when feeding the horse I, Johanna, ran into an unexpected obstacle. It would be infinitely more exciting if I said it was a foul breathed, fire breathing, hideous scaly dragon; as the title of this post might suggest. And that there was a giant tournament held to decide which knight was the bravest in the land to come rescue me. However I am very glad to say that this is not the case. For one I don't cherish the idea of being held captive by an over sized fire breathing Gieco gecko with wings. And two I have never been quite comfortable with the idea of just one brave knight coming to rescue me. If I were really being held captive by a dragon, I would want the whole army, peasants with pitch forks, and who ever else could be found to come to my rescue! Not just one brave fool dressed like a Jiffy Pop pan!!! That aside I return to my trip to feed the horse. On my way I was surprised when I nearly stepped on something that was long, red, black, and yellow. Most commonly known for his little rhyme ''Red and yellow kill a fellow'' I returned to the house, and with complete calm and composure yelled, "CalViN!...CAlvIn!...CALVIN!!! There is a Coral snake outside, and I just nearly stepped on it!" Well maybe not complete composure, but I tried.
This is not our Coral snake, but this is what he looked liked.
Coral snakes are (I believe) the most poisonous snake in North America, but not the most dangerous due to there slowness, small mouths, and lack of fangs. All the same they are not the kind of guest that are nice to have around.
Cowboy George came to my rescue, and I did not mind that he did not have an army with him. Due to the slowness of the coral snake, and my brother's promptness it was not hard to relocate the foul serpent. My brother then proceeded with reconstructive surgery, or rather destructive surgery with the machete. We quickly learned why God said he would crush the serpents head rather then just cut him in half. Though in more then one piece that snake thought he could still slither off. It was then we realized this serpent was a proponent of The Divine Right of Snakes and more drastic measures had to be taken. There was only one way to dispatch a tyrant such as this. With drum roll beating and a cry of "Sic sempre tyranous!", we executed the slippery serpent by severing the head from the body and thus ended his life. The danger passed, the horse was fed, and the snake left to the birds.
We named the snake Charles Stuart after King Charles Stuart I of England. The tyrant king who was known for his slippery ways, forked tongue, belief in the divine right of kings, and who met the same fate as our snake for his crimes against the people of England in 1649.
THE END
The other morning when feeding the horse I, Johanna, ran into an unexpected obstacle. It would be infinitely more exciting if I said it was a foul breathed, fire breathing, hideous scaly dragon; as the title of this post might suggest. And that there was a giant tournament held to decide which knight was the bravest in the land to come rescue me. However I am very glad to say that this is not the case. For one I don't cherish the idea of being held captive by an over sized fire breathing Gieco gecko with wings. And two I have never been quite comfortable with the idea of just one brave knight coming to rescue me. If I were really being held captive by a dragon, I would want the whole army, peasants with pitch forks, and who ever else could be found to come to my rescue! Not just one brave fool dressed like a Jiffy Pop pan!!! That aside I return to my trip to feed the horse. On my way I was surprised when I nearly stepped on something that was long, red, black, and yellow. Most commonly known for his little rhyme ''Red and yellow kill a fellow'' I returned to the house, and with complete calm and composure yelled, "CalViN!...CAlvIn!...CALVIN!!! There is a Coral snake outside, and I just nearly stepped on it!" Well maybe not complete composure, but I tried.
This is not our Coral snake, but this is what he looked liked.Coral snakes are (I believe) the most poisonous snake in North America, but not the most dangerous due to there slowness, small mouths, and lack of fangs. All the same they are not the kind of guest that are nice to have around.
Cowboy George came to my rescue, and I did not mind that he did not have an army with him. Due to the slowness of the coral snake, and my brother's promptness it was not hard to relocate the foul serpent. My brother then proceeded with reconstructive surgery, or rather destructive surgery with the machete. We quickly learned why God said he would crush the serpents head rather then just cut him in half. Though in more then one piece that snake thought he could still slither off. It was then we realized this serpent was a proponent of The Divine Right of Snakes and more drastic measures had to be taken. There was only one way to dispatch a tyrant such as this. With drum roll beating and a cry of "Sic sempre tyranous!", we executed the slippery serpent by severing the head from the body and thus ended his life. The danger passed, the horse was fed, and the snake left to the birds.
We named the snake Charles Stuart after King Charles Stuart I of England. The tyrant king who was known for his slippery ways, forked tongue, belief in the divine right of kings, and who met the same fate as our snake for his crimes against the people of England in 1649.THE END
5 comments:
Bravo!!! Hurray for Cowboy George and the death of the "tyranical dragon!" My son (and his Mama) would be proud!
Loved the post; very entertaining. : )
Great Post!!!
I would have been very afraid if that had happened to me!I am so glad that Charles Stuart Was executed and is no longer alive to do any harm:)
Thanks For Posting!!
Savannah
It really is a great post Jo!
Glad you did it! :)
your little sister
Rebecca Marie
Johanna, you definitely have a talent for writing! I heard about your escapade with Charles Stuart on the phone a couple days ago, but the story had me rolling even knowing what was coming next!
I am just glad everyone (but the snake) survived in one piece. Lets just hope Henrietta Maria isn't around too. Or a whole brood of those nasty serpents. Keep up the great posts!
Your devoted friend,
Lauren Ashley
Christopher and I found a scorpion in our room last night...Yikes!!! He got away (under the bed) so sleeping was a little tough last night. We will try to hunt him down when Christopher gets home tonight.
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